Before meeting
- Share when you were last tested and what was included
- Discuss oral, genital and rectal exposure where relevant
- Name barrier expectations before clothes come off
- Discuss vaccines, PrEP or other prevention when applicable
Sexual health
Better information.
Less shame.
A responsible conversation is not “Are you clean?” It is a specific discussion about testing, timing, exposure sites, barriers, prevention and what each person needs to consent.
No test creates a zero-risk certificate. Results reflect particular infections, body sites and windows in time. Use them as information—not as a character judgment.
When something changes
- Pause activity that falls outside informed consent
- Notify potentially affected partners promptly
- Seek testing or medical advice appropriate to the exposure
- Avoid blame language that discourages disclosure
Words matter
“Negative on the tests I received” is more accurate than “disease free.” “I have an STI” describes health information; it does not describe someone’s worth, hygiene or honesty.
Consent needs specifics
Agreement to one barrier choice, activity or partner does not automatically extend to another. Changes require a new conversation, not an assumption.
A direct opening
“Before we decide anything, I’d like to compare testing dates, what was tested, barrier preferences and anything that would change either person’s yes.”
Find testing and vaccines
Use the CDC’s confidential locator to find HIV, STI and hepatitis testing and vaccination services near you: GetTested.CDC.gov.