Aftercare
Intentional physical or emotional care after an intense or vulnerable experience. What feels supportive should be discussed rather than assumed.
Consent & boundariesLifestyle 101
Words are shortcuts.
People are not.
Common terms can help start a conversation, but they do not tell you someone’s boundaries, interests or consent. Ask instead of assuming.
Community language changes. Meanings vary by person, platform, club and region. These definitions are conversation starters—not permission, promises or universal rules.
0 terms shown
A–C
Agreement
A commitment people make together about how they will relate or behave. Healthy agreements can be revisited together; renegotiable does not mean unilaterally changeable.
RelationshipsBareback
Slang for penetrative sex without a condom. It describes barrier use, not a person’s STI status or the overall level of risk.
Sexual healthBoundary
A person’s limit or decision about what they will participate in, accept or do to care for themselves. A boundary belongs to the person setting it.
Consent & boundariesBDSM
An umbrella acronym covering bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Interests, roles and consent practices vary widely.
KinkBi-curious
A self-chosen label for someone exploring or questioning possible attraction to more than one gender. Curiosity never implies consent to an experience.
Profile shorthandBisexual
A person who experiences attraction to more than one gender. It does not mean equal attraction, unlimited availability or automatic interest in group sex.
Profile shorthandBull
A man who participates with a partnered woman in some hotwife or cuckold dynamics. Any dominance or humiliation elements must be defined by the people involved.
People & dynamicsCatfishing
Using a false identity, misleading photos or fabricated relationship status to deceive people online. Verification can reduce—but not eliminate—the risk.
Clubs & etiquetteClosed-door play
Partners engage with others in separate rooms or spaces. Privacy does not remove the need for clear agreements, check-ins and consent.
Play stylesCNM
Consensual non-monogamy: relationship structures in which everyone involved knows about and consents to some form of non-exclusivity.
RelationshipsCompersion
Pleasure that can arise in response to another person’s pleasure or connection. It may coexist with jealousy and is never required.
RelationshipsConsent
A freely given, informed, specific and ongoing yes. It can be withdrawn at any time, and consent to one activity is not consent to another.
Consent & boundariesCuckold / cuckquean
A consensual dynamic in which someone is aroused by their partner’s sexual involvement with another person. Humiliation may be included, but is not universal.
People & dynamicsCuddle puddle
A group cuddle that may be platonic, sensual or erotic. Participation in cuddling does not imply consent to sexual touch.
BasicsD–H
DDF
“Drug and disease free,” a common but vague profile abbreviation. PL101 recommends specific, stigma-free conversations about substance use, testing, results, barriers and current risk.
Profile shorthandDominant / submissive
Roles within consensual power exchange. A dominant accepts negotiated authority; a submissive chooses to yield certain control. Neither role overrides consent.
KinkDRDP
Different room, different partner: profile shorthand indicating that partners may play with others in separate spaces.
Profile shorthandDTF
“Down to fuck”: blunt shorthand signaling interest in sex. It is not consent to a specific person, act, time or place.
Profile shorthandENM
Ethical non-monogamy: an umbrella term for openly and consensually having more than one romantic or sexual connection.
RelationshipsExhibitionism
Enjoyment of being watched in an erotic context. Everyone who may see the activity must have consented through the situation and venue rules.
Play stylesFetish
A strong erotic focus on a particular object, material, body part, scenario or sensation. An interest is never permission to involve someone else.
KinkFlake
Slang for someone who repeatedly disappears or cancels without reasonable communication. Emergencies and changed consent are not character flaws.
Clubs & etiquetteFluid bonding
A term sometimes used for an agreement to have certain sexual contact without barriers. Name the exact acts, partners, testing plan and risk changes instead.
Sexual healthFMF / FFM
Shorthand for a three-person configuration involving two women and one man. Letter order is used inconsistently, so ask directly about interests and limits.
Profile shorthandFull swap
Usually indicates openness to penetrative sex with other partners. It does not define every permitted activity, barrier choice or boundary.
Play stylesGroup sex
Sexual activity involving three or more people. Every participant needs room to give, refuse or withdraw consent without pressure.
Play stylesHard limit
An activity or condition someone will not participate in. A hard limit is not an invitation to bargain, test or persuade.
Consent & boundariesHall pass
An agreement allowing one partner to pursue an experience separately under defined conditions. It does not erase the outside person’s agency or consent.
RelationshipsHeteroflexible / homoflexible
Labels for attraction that is primarily heterosexual or homosexual but not exclusively so. The individual decides whether either label fits.
Profile shorthandHierarchy
A structure in which some partnerships receive stated priority, authority or practical entanglement. It may be descriptive or prescriptive and should be disclosed honestly.
RelationshipsHothusband
A partnered man who has sexual experiences with others with his partner’s knowledge and consent. The label varies between communities.
People & dynamicsHotwife
A consensual dynamic in which a partnered woman has sexual experiences with others, often with her partner’s encouragement.
People & dynamicsHWP
“Height-weight proportionate,” a subjective phrase about body size. It can carry judgment and means different things to different people.
Profile shorthandK–P
Kitchen-table polyamory
A style in which partners and metamours are comfortable sharing some community or everyday connection. Friendship is not required unless everyone wants it.
RelationshipsKink
An umbrella term for erotic interests or practices outside what someone considers conventional. It says nothing by itself about a person’s boundaries.
KinkLifestyle / LS
A widely used community term for swinging and related forms of consensual adult sexual socializing. Some use it more broadly, so context matters.
BasicsMetamour
Your partner’s other partner when you and that person are not also partners. Metamours may be close, cordial, distant or unknown by agreement.
RelationshipsMFM / MMF
Shorthand for a three-person configuration involving two men and one woman. Letter order is not reliable; discuss interests and limits directly.
Profile shorthandMonogamish
A flexible label for relationships that are mostly monogamous while allowing limited outside sexual or romantic experiences under shared agreements.
RelationshipsNewbie
Someone new to the lifestyle or a particular experience. Being new does not mean uninformed, available or obligated to “start small.”
BasicsNRE
New relationship energy: the excitement and intensity that can accompany a new connection. Enjoying it and honoring existing commitments can happen together.
RelationshipsNSA
“No strings attached”: an encounter without an expected romantic commitment. It does not mean no communication, care or accountability.
Profile shorthandNSFW
“Not safe for work”: a warning that content may be explicit, sexual or unsuitable for public viewing.
Profile shorthandOpen relationship / open marriage
A broad label for a committed relationship allowing some outside romantic or sexual connection. The label alone does not reveal the actual agreements.
RelationshipsOpen-door / same-room play
Partners remain in the same shared space while engaging with others. Being present does not grant automatic consent to join or watch every activity.
Play stylesPansexual
A person who may experience attraction regardless of gender. It does not mean attraction to everyone or consent to any encounter.
Profile shorthandParallel polyamory
A style in which a person’s relationships remain relatively separate and metamours have limited interaction.
RelationshipsPlay
Community shorthand for sexual or erotic activity. The word never implies consent to a particular act.
BasicsPlayroom / play area
A venue space designated for sexual activity. Entry is not consent to touch, participate, photograph or watch from an inappropriate distance.
Clubs & etiquettePolycule
The network formed by people connected through polyamorous relationships. Not everyone in a polycule dates or has sex with one another.
RelationshipsPolyamory
A form of consensual non-monogamy allowing multiple romantic relationships, with the knowledge and consent of those involved.
RelationshipsR–V
Reclaiming sex
A phrase for sex between established partners after play with others. Some find it connecting; others prefer language without possessive implications.
RelationshipsRisk-aware consent
An informed choice made after discussing foreseeable physical and emotional risks, protections, uncertainties and the option to say no.
Consent & boundariesSafer sex
Practices that reduce—without claiming to eliminate—the chance of STI transmission or unintended pregnancy.
Sexual healthSaturation
The point at which someone has as many relationships or commitments as they can responsibly support with available time and energy.
RelationshipsSeparate play
Partners having experiences independently, whether at the same event or at different times and places. Agreements and check-ins vary.
Play stylesSoft limit
An activity someone may consider only under particular conditions or with caution. It still requires an active yes and may become a no.
Consent & boundariesSoft swap
Sexual activity that stops short of penetrative intercourse with other partners. Definitions vary, so list the actual activities being discussed.
Play stylesSRDP
Same room, different partner: shorthand for playing with others while remaining in the same shared space.
Profile shorthandSRSP
Same room, same partner: shorthand often describing couples who remain with their own partner while playing near others.
Profile shorthandStag / vixen
A consensual dynamic in which a woman plays with others with encouragement from her male partner, without humiliation being central.
People & dynamicsSTI / STD
STI means sexually transmitted infection; STD means sexually transmitted disease. An infection may be present without symptoms or disease.
Sexual healthSwinging
Consensual recreational sexual activity involving singles, couples or groups, often emphasizing shared experiences rather than additional romances.
BasicsThreesome
A sexual experience involving three people. A couple inviting a third does not make that person less entitled to boundaries and care.
Play stylesUnicorn
Slang for a bisexual woman interested in a couple. The label can objectify when the person is treated as a fantasy role rather than an equal participant.
People & dynamicsUnicorn hunting
A couple’s search for a bisexual woman to join them. The phrase is often critical when the couple limits the third person’s voice or autonomy.
People & dynamicsUpside-down pineapple
A playful symbol often associated with swinging. It is not universal and should never be treated as an invitation or proof someone is in the lifestyle.
BasicsVanilla
Informal language for people or activities viewed as conventional or outside kink and lifestyle communities. It should not be an insult.
BasicsVeto power
An agreement giving someone authority to end or prohibit a partner’s outside connection. Its existence and limits should be disclosed before attachment develops.
RelationshipsVoyeurism
Enjoyment of watching others erotically. Ethical voyeurism requires awareness and consent from those observed and compliance with venue rules.
Play stylesNo matching term yet. Try another word—or send PL101 the term you want added.
How this glossary was built: PL101 uses original, education-first definitions shaped by community usage and consent-centered guidance. Outside lists help identify words worth covering, but their wording and assumptions are independently reviewed. One list consulted was The Game of Lifestyle glossary.
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